Walk Confidently

We all have those days. The days we feel like everyone is watching our every move. We feel like they are judging our outfit, hair, shoes….you name it.

But honestly I think what’s being “judged” is the way we are acting. When you feel like crap, don’t you think the world sees that something is off?

This morning as I was driving my oldest in to school, he turned to me and said he was nervous about going in. I of course asked why (fearing I wasn’t told about a test or something). But instead he told me that he was nervous his peers wouldn’t like his new haircut.

me: Do YOU like your new haircut?

him: Yes, I like it a lot.

me: Then why do you think others won’t?

him: I think because it is so different. It’s nothing like my old hair and I don’t want people to think I did something crazy.

me: Do YOU think you did something crazy?

him: No

me: Then what does it matter? You like it, you know I think you look awesome. Just own it bud. Walk confidently.

him: What?

me: Seriously. When you step out of this car, walk right over to your line and tell yourself “dang, I look good!” When you are confident it shows.

He steps out of the car, looks back. I told him…..”dang dude, you look good!” He smiled, pulled his shoulders back and walked right over to his line. He looked as confident as you can. I saw him smile as a couple people came up to him telling him they liked his hair.

This is a reminder. As much for me, than anyone else. Feel confident momma. You look dang good, you work hard and you need to be to be happy with you!

Your Essence

Have you ever heard of an Essence Workshop? If you ever have the opportunity to attend one of these babies, I highly recommend it.

Basically this workshop helps you find the person you are. The person you were born to be.

This is who you feel you are at your absolute best. The crazy part is though,that even at your weakest moments, this “essence” is still shining through. Others can see it and feel it just by really looking at you and hearing your voice.

This past week I joined a group of great women to do this workshop.

Let me tell you though, the part about people seeing this essence, even when you are at your weakest moment, was truly tested.

Lets just start off by saying, I am not a crier.

I cry, yes. But generally when I’m by myself, in the shower.

I know, it’s strange. I don’t know why this is. I don’t care when other people cry in front of me. But the judgement I lay on myself for crying in front of others is intense. It’s embarrassing for me and I pretty much shame myself.

I’m working on it.

Anyways, this particular day I went to this event and I was OFF. I have been struggling a bit lately with some personal health stuff and I was getting to a crazy breaking point. I walked in the door and felt myself struggling. I tried to stop it, I focused on my planner and emails I had received that morning. But as soon as the group started and we had to introduce ourselves, the flood gates opened. I was dying on the inside. Telling everyone this “isnt me.” It was bad.

But the thing is, when it was my turn to have everyone shout out my words. The words they felt that come from me, just as I sat there….they nailed it. It was me, at my best.

How is that possible? I was my most vulnerable self!

When the coach asked me what I thought of  my words. I told her it looked like a lot of work to live up to on a daily basis, but I loved them all. Then she reminded me, “But this is who you are just sitting here, it’s not work, it’s you!”

What a relief. What an amazing feeling! I can be all that, without the pressure to maintain it?!


New Plan

I decided something this week, which basically will leave me hating life at times and sore . BUT, starting this past Monday my plan is for the next 8 weeks to get 6 days of workouts in a week and to eat clean. Two to three workouts will be at my gym, then the rest will be as I choose (hiking, walking, running, a workout video, etc).

My thought is that this might suck, but it’s time to kick this baby up a notch. What’s the harm in doing this? I can only gain something from it. I mean whoever thought to themselves at the end of the day, “Boo, I wish I didn’t workout today.”

I need help being accountable though. I’m pretty good at sticking to a goal, but something like this is so outside of my comfort zone, that I need an extra push. So I posted to my social media yesterday. I was reaching out to my friends and family asking them if anyone would like to do any of these workouts (outside of the gym) with me. I was super pleased with the responses I had. Friends from all different areas of my life, volunteering to help push me.

So now it’s up to me. I need to sit down schedule stuff out and plan ahead, because that’s how you make it work, right?

I already have the food part figured out. I have an amazing friend who has been helping me. She gives me my weekly food list, every Sunday. But as for the workouts….. the only thing I can think of, is just blocking off the time of day I am going to do that workout and if others had wanted to join me that day, fill them in too.

Anything I am missing? Pointers?

Look at this beautiful view. I’m not much of a runner, but it’s a lot easier to push yourself, when this is your view!

Welcome to my morning……

It’s 6am, you’re laying in bed after the alarm goes off. You are bound and determined to make this morning go right. You’re sick of the morning hustle, the quarrels, the rush. Let’s stay in bed for a bit and begin our new morning meditation work. Breath in for three seconds, hold it for three seconds, breath out for three seconds….clear your mind. Repeat several times.

Ok, feeling good. Let’s do this.

Morning routine underway. You are doused in Joy and Stress Away Oils (just to be safe), you have coffee brewing and lunches packed.

Time to wake the kids!

Kiddos are up and 20 minutes in everything is running smooth.

Then you hear it. The phrase that throws every moms perfect morning in to a freak out fit, ” Oh no, moooooooom, I forgot to do my assignment. It’s due today!”

Thanking God you got the kids up early, you tell that kid to get on it.

45 minutes later, he is STILL working on it!

You do what you can to prepare him, as he works. You put away his stuff, put on his socks, oils and tie his shoes. You spray and brush his hair (being careful not to get it on his paper), you give him his vitamins and put away his lunch and water bottle.

Line is drawn, you can’t brush his teeth. It’s now up to him.

Why? Why is my new calm morning plan already being tested?

Where is my freaking diffuser?! Get that sucker plugged in now!

Coffffeeeeeeeeeee! I need coffee!!

Out the door, only 10 minutes late. Though normally being late for anything throws you in to a tizzy, today you chalk it up as a win.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow it WILL be calm.

Something I will “never understand”

My family and I just got back from a two week road trip. We left our home in San Diego and drove 2,061 miles to my sister in laws home, in northern Illinois.

We are pro-road trippers. We have done this drive probably 4 or 5 times in the last 10 years. My kids are actually amazing in the car and my husband and I make a great driving/co-pilot team.

On this big drive you can imagine the crazy conversations that can start up. Especially with a 10 and 6 year old in the back seat.

We talked about remembering areas we have driven through before, my husband and I loving the audible book I had picked for the ride, discussing in length the passing of Carrie Fisher, then the next day the passing of Debbie Reynolds (as a momma this one hit me hard, the boys had to endure tears). But the topic that continued being brought up was potty time.

As you can imagine, we have to stop pretty often to pee. I mean it’s a 32 hour drive. We do not do this drive non-stop, but still, 10-12 hours a day is a lot. My boys know that when mom pulls over to hit a gas station restroom, they have to pile out as well and at least try.

Then, we started driving through big open areas with gigantic stretches between available rest stops or gas stations. So at some point a boy or two needed us to pull over to find a nice tree to pee beside.

It’s life, it happens. Better outside, than in my car.

But we started noticing our little one was having to go to the bathroom pretty often. Especially if it was on the side of the road. At one point tricks started to ensue. “Look ma, no hands” was literally screamed out at one stop and “ the world is my potty” was yelled out at another.

I cringed, but to be honest…it was pretty freaking funny.

The three guys all had good laughs over their pee breaks and bonding, that I will never understand.



Happy 2017!

Every New Years Eve I pick a word to represent the goals I have set for that upcoming year.

Last years word was change. My goal in 2016 was to allow myself the change that was needed in my moving life. I joined a new gym, I picked up new hobbies, I started a blog, joined a new club and I pushed myself out of the box, often.

This year my word is structure. I have always been a pretty organized person, but with the changes I made last year, my life, home and some of my work has become a bit of a mess. It has been driving me insane, but I felt so busy, that making it a priority had stopped.

Welp, I’m back on it this year. It’s not going to be an easy job. But I am getting it ALL organized. I am working on a list of to dos. My desk is first, then business taxes, but after that…. the sky is the limit. I need to figure out my kids room, my bedroom, I need to work on getting better at working out of a planner again and so much more.

I need to unclutter the brain a bit, to unclutter my life, to get focused.

Do you pick a word every year? What is yours for 2017?