Getting to the light

Please forgive me for not keeping up with my blog posts lately. Honestly, since late December I was dealing with some crazy health stuff. I was in and out of the doctors all the time and they ran so many freaking tests, but nothing was getting concluded. It was very frustrating. I was feeling awful, my body was fighting something…but nobody could figure out what and I didn’t feel like they cared.

Do you know how bad this messes with your brain?

I got depressed.

I felt myself getting into “a fog.” If you haven’t ever dealt with depression, that’s my best way to describe it. It’s kind of dark, you can see a light… but can’t really get to it. You get tired all the time and obviously sad. I was unmotivated and convinced I was dying. I was fighting off anxiety attacks all the time. My doctors kept just throwing antibiotics at me, but straight telling me they had no idea why.

Then one day, my friend gave me the name of her Naturopath.

Look, I consider myself a natural’ish momma. I only buy clean and organic foods when I can, we drink from our house filtered water only, I use my oils first…before anything else. But, I love a good cheeseburger occasionally, I enjoy a glass of wine, I try very hard to always keep homemade cookies in our cookie jar. I’m not perfect, so very far from it, but I try.

A Naturopath though? That’s super foreign to me. I go where the insurance pays, ya know? That’s it. I was at my wits end though and had to do something different, so I went. Now, I can not vouch for all Naturopaths, but mine…..holy wow! I left there feeling heard. He cared. He cried along side me. He promised this would get figured out. On top of all of that, he checked in on me regularly via email and if I didn’t respond back to him, he called. I have never experienced such care before. The best part is he did NOT bad talk the doctors I was seeing. He was there once too, he knows what they are taught and how they are paid and given bonuses…the system is cracked….not the doctors.

So here I am …..getting help. Feeling much better and best of all I am not just a number anymore. Between that and some very special friends who helped me with oils work and just listening, I am AT the light. I am doing good.

Thanks for bearing with me. Happy to be back!!

Finger Trap Panic

If you are not a parent, you are probably missing out on one of the best things possible.

The relief of stress you feel from torturing teasing your children.

Recently my oldest kiddo got to pick a small prize at the store. I was able to convince him to get a finger trap. Because they are so cool!

Did you have a finger trap as a kid? I did. The thing I remember is the first time using it,  the panic I felt trying to get that sucker off. After that, it was a tool I had in my pocket for when unsuspecting victims came over to play. I had learned the trick and I couldn’t wait to mess with my friends.

Well, I guess that feeling didn’t go away.

I took great joy in the hysterical freak out my kid had, trying to get this thing off.

He put it on as we were driving home and just couldn’t figure it out. Of course the harder you pull the tighter it gets and he couldn’t understand that. Then we got to the house and he realized he couldn’t take his seatbelt off. He was “trapped in the car forever!”

I asked him what the solution is, when something is hard to deal with. He stopped for a second and said, I try and relax. Just like that, he chilled out slightly, pushed in and his fingers came out.

I never had realized finger traps could be such a great symbol, for how to deal with panic.

Ironic

 

The Baking Dilemma

I struggle with something. It will sound so incredibly lame, but it’s a legit issue.

When I’m baking, at least one child (if not both) want to help.

Ok, I know……ummmm….so what’s the big deal?

The big deal is, those adorable helpers seriously slow me down! Like, a lot.

I make about 5 dinners a week for our family of four. I often have to schedule this preparation time down to the second. This is between picking kids up from school, getting homework done, studying for tests, getting to multiple sports or events.

So when the moment comes when I have to bake something. Whether this is a dish I’m preparing for the week, cookies for a bake sale, cake for a birthday…I have to be selective with my time.

But those kids man, they see the KitchenAid Mixer come out and BAM……”Mom, can I help?”

Inside I’m screaming, “NOOOOOOOO!”

Sometimes I try and deter them with an “I’m almost done” or “this will be quick.”

But those little boogers, just don’t care. They roll up their sleeves, wash their hands, pull up the stool and put their hand out for a tool.

Just accept it momma. Let it go and teach.